Juergensen Family Blog

What a difference the last few months have made! Things have either gotten a lot better or a positive trend line makes them feel like they have. Today was an especially good day - it is almost as if they knew I would be writing this post tonight, and they wanted to be on good behavior for their performance review. Here are the updates:

• Crawling. What a difference crawling has made, especially for Kate! Sabrina was the first to crawl, right around 8 months, and Kate was a few weeks later. Almost immediately she went from crying anytime you left the room, to self entertaining for what seemed like long stretches in comparison. It is as if she realized she has places to go and things to do, so you leaving is not the end of her little world. In fact, she often initiates the separation by crawling away. Sabrina was a fast crawler almost from the start, and for her the opposite may be occuring. She has always been the easy baby, but now with her crawling skills she has a fondness for crawling through the barrier into the kitchen. That’s a topic for a different day.
• Eating. Meals seem to be a lot easier these days too. Part of it is that the guesswork in timing is out of the equation - 5:00 to 5:30 is now the ideal start time. Perhaps part of it is that I take the girls to the playground AFTER dinner, not before, which avoids the hunger related meltdowns when we returned from the park. But also, I think they finally have a sense of what needs to happen at dinner and everyone is a bit more patient while waiting for more food to be put in their mouth. While Sabrina started with only 4 foods she’d eat, she has now expanded her list to include most of Kate’s favorites as well. Since there are 63 individual meals in a week (7 days x 3 meals per day x 3 kids), any improvement in 42 of them makes a huge difference in the week.
• Playing together. With the new mobility has come an interest in playing together, much more than before. Sure, they still take each other’s toys and somtimes try to bat the other one away like a fly, but they are at least aware that the other one is there, and often find them entertaining. More on this later - I need to figure out what needs to be said.
  - Sleep training. What took us so long? Finally when Kate and Sabrina turned 9 months old, and were over 17 lbs, and the 4am and 5am wake-ups were still occuring, I decided something needed to be done. Unfortunately they can cry for 45 minutes straight, unlike Zoe who petered out at 10-20 minutes. Also unfortunate, 45 minutes of crying does not necessarily wake the other baby, so each of the crying spells occurred at different times, making for over 1 1/2 hours of noise. Long story short, it was a rough week, but results started kicking in immediately and now we can go to sleep with confidence we won’t see them again until morning.

  There is more to write (summer time, personalities), but I am tired and signing off now.

As usually happens, I am wrapping up this post almost a month later on Labor Day as summer unofficially ends.

• Summer has been a huge help. Now when everyone is crying at the same time, it is very easy to get the stroller and go for a walk. Often Kate and Sabrina fall asleep on the walk, and when they don’t, they usually enjoy the change of scenery. Zoe loves walking and strolls have a way of calming everyone down. Even better, I figured out how to take all three to the playground by myself, and we go almost every evening, after dinner so moods are better. Kate and Sabrina and now Zoe love swings! Even when they’re in the stroller, Kate and Sabrina like all the attention they receive from the toddlers playing in the playground.
• Self-feeding. Kate has really taken an interest in feeding herself, which makes spoon feeding more difficult, but has the potential to make meals easier. She will try almost anything - tonight was spaghetti. Sabrina has less interest but will usually eat bread, cereal or grated cheese, but looked skeptically at watermelon. Someday soon we may prepare one meal that everyone can eat.

Signing off for now, but hopefully soon I’ll write a post on their personalities.

I wrote the following in late May when I was in Las Vegas for a trade show, but like most things, didn’t get around to posting it until now. It seems it should be included in the blog, as it is part of the story of the first year of having 3 kids. Here it is:

Today I am in Las Vegas and really enjoying the rest and relaxation. I didn’t fully realize how much I needed the break until I got on the plane yesterday and my mind went into a foggy-like lethargic state. It was kind of like what allergy medicine (the good kind) does, but I hadn’t taken any. I attributed it to the lack of good sleep the night before - a mere 4.5 hours - and thought nothing of it until I woke up today in the same state.

It has been a relaxing two days, and there are two more to go. Last night I slept 10 hours elapsed - a few wake-ups, but no major insomnia. It was wonderful. I am enjoying not having to do anything but get myself over to the trade show at the correct time. Thre freedom to wander as I please without thinking about anything but whether this is what I want to be doing is liberating. Yesterday I ate in the diner and had a salad that was mediocre at best. I forgot how much I love salads, and was wondering why I don’t eat them more often when I suddenly remembered the answer - that there is no time to make them and no time to eat them, and I rarely have the ability to go out to eat. This morning I went to the pool and laid in the sun for an hour or so. The only thoughts running through my head were pool or no pool, do I like this song or not, should I have lunch or skip it. It is truly a vacation for the mind.

If it sounds like I would be happy in a life without kids, it isn’t so. Life would be so empty to me and the simple pleasures I am describing would not measure up to the love of my three daughters (or at least two of them at any given moment.) But having three little ones means days are all about keeping the calm, with most minutes from morning to night driven by their needs, their schedules and their moods. Everything I choose to do from going to the bathroom to possibly running an errand requires quick mental calculations of whether the new state is worth the crying that occurs when I leave the room, if anyone is in a position to harm anyone else, logistical considerations of how to bring everyone along, or time calculations of what everyone’s upcoming needs will be in terms of feedings and diapers. It is mentally exhausting.

Here in Las Vegas I am enjoying only having to take care of myself. It is no wonder my mind is in a coma-like state - it has no idea what to do with the void. Fortunately it has figured out that it is time to enjoy the rest & relaxation!

Kate and Sabrina are now 6 months old. To be honest, things are not going quite as smoothly and I am looking forward to moving through this phase. I finally sensed this when I mentally shifted from never believing my little angels would go through the terrible two’s (happy denial) to believing it is right around the corner (when it is really over a year away). Where to begin?

For starters, sleep has taken a hit in the past several weeks. While they still pretty much sleep through the night, they can’t seem to make it all the way to morning. Wake-us at 4am or 5am are becoming routine. As rough as this may be, it beats a 6am wake-up, because they often don’t go back once they’ve had 9 hours of sleep. This is related to the other challenge, which is that Kate sleeps astonishingly little overall for a baby. I estimate she may sleep 10-11 hours a day. If you’re lucky, you get 10 hours at night, and then an hour of naps in 20-40 minute increments at random times the day. Sabrina can usually be depended on for 10 hours at night, and a good 2-3 hours of naps throughout the day. The hard cold reality is that since Kate is a 9-hour sleeper, if I want 8 hours, I need to go to bed at the same time that she does.

(While I began writing this at 6 months, they are now 7 1/2 months and I am just trying to find time to finish the post. To be continued…)

I am going to just touch on a few topics, because it is exhausting to write about it all. Here is a summary:

Kate seemed to get separation anxiety soon after her 4-month birthday. If you’d come into a room and then start to leave, you’d see her smile soon turn to sad expression and soon after to tears. She also loves to be held all the time (who can blame her?), which is difficult when there are two other girls needing at least some minimal attention. Her cries are very intense, and the tone seems to range from desperation (Mommy has deserted me) to anger (how dare you put me down). Fortunately Sabrina is an easygoing baby and doesn’t seem to mind that Kate is being held more than she is. For the most part, if she cries something is usually wrong and it’s either that she’s hungry or that she’s tired. Sometimes she seems oblivious to what is going on around her. While Kate and Zoe tend to cry together - one prompting the other, Sabrina doesn’t see how that should impact her and just goes on with whatever she was doing.

At six months we started transitioning to jarred food from bottles, and that has not been as picturesque as I once imagined. I pictured all three girls seated at the same time and eating dinner, but the reality is that dinner time can be the most stressful time of the day. In the beginning babies need a lot of attention and encouragement to get through their meal, and if you try to do both at the same time, the one who is not receiving attention can get agitated, which makes it difficult to get more food in them. If you do one at a time, then the other who is waiting is often crying for a solid 20-30 minutes in the play area (if they’re hungry). You can intervene, but doing so risks the one who is being fed becoming cranky and then the outcome is a poor feeding.

Twin bonding has also not gone as well as I expected, given the smiles they gave each other at 2-3 months. Once they started rolling, they are rarely facing each other. Sabrina loves to be on the floor rolling, while Kate prefers sitting. So it is like their paths never cross, except occasionally when they happen to look each other’s direction and see that there is another baby in the vicinity - what a surprise! They also compete for toys, which shouldn’t come as a surprise but somehow did. Kate is usually the aggressor, wanting whatever Sabrina has. She can take her toys in the stroller, in their car seats, on the floor - she sees opportunity everywhere. Add to that, Zoe taking both of their toys and it seems like much of the day is spent being referree.

Add to all of this poopy diapers around the clock (John counted 7 for one baby one day) and feedings around the clock, combined with no regular naps and 9 hours (best case) of sleep, and it makes for an exhausted Mom.

Kate and Sabrina turn 4-months old today, and it is time for a long overdue update.

First and foremost, both Kate and Sabrina are happy, calm, and generally pretty easy babies. The smiles and coos started around 2 months, and have continued and increased in frequency. They are a wonderful way to start and end each day. Sometimes it amazes me how easy it is to get them to smile - usually just smiling at them is enough. Sabrina does a classic coo sound with an occasional shriek of delight, while Kate’s almost sounds like she wants to talk.

Just in time for the 4-month birthday, they started consistently sleeping through the night! This week was our first week of 8+ hour nights for both babies, which included one night of double 11’s. (I always equate twins sleep to a roll of the dice, because previously there was little consistency.) Kate had her first 9-hour night before she was 1 month old, and Sabrina did 7 hours soon after, but consistency has been elusive, and without consistency the feeling of fatigue and even desperation was always around. Fortunately that is now coming to an end.

This week we are transitioning to a diet of formula, from a combination of breast milk and formula. Cereal will be in a few months, and then the fun will really begin. So far Sabrina is the superior eater - she can polish off an 8 oz bottle with ease, with a slow-but-steady wins the race pace. Kate gets famished but peters out very quickly. I think she also prefers formula and since most meals are breast milk, she tires rather quickly. At night she often decides sleep is superior to a bottle, and crashes early, which is quite a change from a few months ago when she was the night owl. Perhaps it is the end of football season that did it.

On milestones, Sabrina officially rolled over a week ago, after a few weeks of close calls where she couldn’t get her arm and should loose. Kate also shows interest in rolling, but is much happier pumping her legs. She will be a runner or a soccer player. (Update: Kate rolled over two weeks later, but still lacks interest to do it much.) Kate definitely has the superior grip, and gets very excited when some of her favorite toys are within reach.

Now that they are past the 4-month mark, we’ve brought out the Exersaucer which allows them to be upright looking at toys. Sabrina immediately did a half-rotation, while Kate started gripping the letter E. We also brought out the Jumperoo and Kate seems to like being upright. Both girls are getting tired of being in the bouncers and are making motions to try to sit up. We can’t wait for the sitting but not yet mobile stage!

Big sister Zoe showers love on them, mostly in the form of kisses. She can say both Kate and Sabrina (or at least Sabina), which is quite an accomplishment since she is not yet saying Daddy. Kate is usually receptive to the kisses and any form of attention from Zoe. Sabrina sometimes looks fearful, which is not without cause. Zoe sometimes gets a little aggressive, as would be expected of a toddler.

All in all we’re having a wonderful time.

Kate and Sabrina arrived on October 7, 2007! Despite our best efforts to write about them in a timely fashion, shortly after they were born, we went into survival mode which is why there is such a delay. Deb was recovering from a combo natural and c-section delivery. Kate arrived after 20 hours of labor, then Sabrina decided to move around in the extra space left by Kate and went breech. Sabrina was delivered via c-section 40 minutes later.

Kate and Sabrina are fraternal twins, and we are so thankful for both their similarities and differences:

• First the basics. They were born very close in size, with Kate at 6 lbs 3 oz and Sabrina at 5 lbs 10 oz. This was especially a relief for Deb, who always feared one being smaller. As of their 2-week appointment, the gap had narrowed to 2 oz. They are also born within an inch in height, with Kate at 19 inches and Sabrina at 19.5.
• Even better, they are both mellow babies. At first, they seemed to sleep around the clock (in blocks of 3-4 hours), and mostly cried when they were hungry. This is quite a difference from Zoe, who cried around the clock. Even now that they have realized that crying gets attention, they are easily consoled by being picked up. Often a good burping solves the problem.
• On the sleep front, they are both sound sleepers. With Zoe we oiled every door and avoided creeky stairs to preserve her delicate sleep. With Kate and Sabrina we make any noise we want, and regularly walk through the nursery, emptying garbage, putting laundry away, etc. Kate had a 9-hour sleep night before the 1-month mark, but is not terribly consistent. (Yes, that is 9 consecutive hours.) Sabrina’s record is 7 hours, and fortunately she did it on a night that Kate also did 7 hours. We’ve learned that with twins, your own sleep is only as good as the weakest link.
• Kate and Sabrina both have smiles that make your heart melt. John would dispute whether these are real or not (vs. being caused by gas), but a smile is a smile and it doesn’t really matter to Deb what the cause is as long as it is directed yiour way. Their grips are also improving, and they have both (unintentionally) held a bottle, which is a useful skill when you’re a twin that often has to wait for her sister to finish eating.

We are also thankful for their uniqueness:

• Kate tends to be the more mellow of the two, though on certain nights when she doesn’t want to go to sleep I question why I think that. Sabrina on the other hand can work herself into such a frenzy when she is hungry at night that she travels quite a distance in the crib and has ended up kicking Kate on several occasions. We will be putting them in separate cribs as soon as possible. Fortunately when Sabrina is fussy, she is easily consoled by a binky.
• Kate has very soulful eyes and she loves sticking her tongue out, so I think of her as a loving puppy dog. (In the early days she also reminded us a little of Yoda.) We think she is a sandy blond, but it is difficult to tell until more hair comes in. Sabrina is definitely a brunette, and I think of her as a miniature Audrey Hepburn (who starred in Sabrina) because of the name, and because she has delicate facial features. Sometimes she looks around, taking it all in, and I wonder if she wants to trade her crazy family in for a new one. She reminds John of young Frankenstein and he has many nicknames for her, many of which he won’t share.

One final similarity is that we love them both dearly. They also get equal kisses from big sister Zoe.

Before we get to the exciting news of the twins arrival, it is time for a long overdue update on Zoe. The twins arrival has me focused on queueing (more on that later), and for most things I feel first-in-first-out is the fairest method. This means that the update on Zoe which is overdue should not be bumped in priority because something newer or bigger comes along. So, as we approach Zoe’s 2nd birthday, here is what has happened in the 18-24 month time period:

• Puzzlemania - Over the summer Zoe developed an obsession with puzzles. She would do the same puzzle over and over again, dumping the pieces out and putting them back in. We kept purchasing more difficult puzzles, and she would slowly but surely master them, including a 15-piece puzzle with no pictures, and her 26-piece alphabet puzzle. Naturally we wanted to believe that our little girl was exceptionally bright, but the lack of any speech to accompany the puzzles made us believe she was perhaps just mathematically bright.
• Family Vacation - In July we took what will probably become one of the first of many trips to the Jersey shore. We rented a house 4 blocks from the ocean, with a grill in the fenced-in back yard. (Sadly Mom got sick the afternoon before leaving, so the first 3 days of the vacation were spent recovering and wondering if this was the way the rest of the pregnancy would be, or if it was just something she ate.) The vacation was very relaxing, and we discovered Zoe is a city girl. Getting her to stay at the beach 30 minutes or to walk in the sand was a challenge. Yet she was fascinated with the hose in the back yard, almost like a kid playing with a fire hydrant.
• Big Girl Room - When we returned from vacation, John spent the next 3 weeks painting Zoe’s new room, with beautiful results! With the twins arrival only a few months away, time was running out to transition Zoe to her new room. We were nervous about the transition, but it helped that she loved going into the room to explore, and that on vacation she had successfully slept in an inflatable toddler bed, i.e. not her crib. Soon the big night came and went with no sleep disruptions, leaving Deb very happy in the morning.
• Daddy - In the last few months of the pregnancy, Zoe switched her attachments from Mom to Dad, following him everywhere and sometimes crying when he left the house. It was quite an adjustment for Deb to go from being her number 1 parent to someone she seemed indifferent to. (Perhaps this is an exaggeration, but that’s what it felt like.) Now that things are settling into a new routine, Zoe’s affections seem equally divided, with the cats getting the lion’s share and Mom and Dad splitting the remainder.
• Nature Walks - Zoe loves to take walks around the neighborhood. At first navigating the sidewalks was plenty of fun, but now that Autumn has arrived the leaves, chestnuts, sticks, acorns, berries and other elements of nature along the sidewalk are like treasures to her. One morning she was in a fast walking/running mood, so we walked all the way to Whole Foods and back, which was a 1-mile journey. Street training is one of the few things that have gone exceptionally well. When she comes to a corner, she either turns the corner (Mom’s training) or stops and holds her hands up waiting to be picked up (Dad’s training). It has been a lot of fun, and good exercise too.
• Talking - All year we have eagerly looked for signs Zoe was going to start talking, ready to imagine words where they really don’t exist. After many attempts, Deb decided to relax and not worry about it until she turned 2. Fortunately, Zoe started using nouns at 21 months, saving us a trip to the speech therapist (the pediatrician’s recommendation, not ours). Her first word was “shoes”, followed closely by “keys”. (Hmmm… what does this mean for her teen years?) Not surprisingly, these are a part of our nature walk ritual - she says shoes and gets her shoes, and then says keys when I get my keys. The list of words has expanded: light, hot, shake, socks, jacket, stick, rock, cup, walk, and recently a long overdue “up”. When friends were watching Zoe during my hospital stay, they told us she said “all done” and “no”, when she didn’t want to have her face wiped. This was rather interesting, because I’ve been saying “all done” for months now with no repetition or interest on Zoe’s part, yet she pulled it out with others and in context.

(More later on toyless fun, and eating or the lack thereof.)

That’s it for now. I’ll conclude by saying though the tantrums have definitely hit a point that would be considered terrible, these are offset by extreme joy and big smiles at the smallest of things. Overall it’s a really fun age, and Zoe is a very happy girl.

A lot has happened in the last 4 months, which seems like an eternity ago. (Broken record playing in background. ) Zoe has now passed the 18-month milestone! Here are the developments:

• Hugs and kisses are by far the best new trick. Daddy taught her this, and now the good night ritual now involves kisses for Mommy, then Daddy, and sometimes family and guests. It’s a wonderful end to a day. Kisses from Marge & Frank, the gargoyles, are also a favorite game.
• Zoe has mastered her ring stackers, shape shorters and puzzles. We were so impressed (which happens often and easily) with her ability to stack 7 rings in the correct size order. For awhile this provided endless entertainment for her, but sadly that was followed by boredom. Now begins the quest for the next toy for her to play with. We’re hoping a sand box/water box will do the trick.
• Zoe finally holds her own bottle, though if others are around she will happily let them do it. We joke that the twins are going to surpass her on this front, because they will undoubtedly learn self sufficiency early due to necessity.
• Mommy finally took the plunge and left Zoe at the nursery at church for a 2-hour service. The wonderful staff says she cries for 60 seconds, but then moves on and is fine. In the first few weeks, she actually napped for an hour, which means she must have been reasonably comfortable. (The other kids told me not to wake her when I came to pick her up.) In recent weeks, she was known as the Goldfish champion for chowing at snack time, and has even been playing when at pick-up time. What a relief!
• The game of chase has been greatly expanded, first around the couch and then to cover pretty much the entire house. Daddy walking through the door is the trigger. She often doesn’t go over for a hug, but starts running because it’s time to play! Daddy also gets a musical fanfare when he arrives home, from her music table. Sadly Mommy is not quite so exciting - as a friend said, “there’s no music when Mommy walks through the door.”
• While we were very eager for her to walk to the car instead of being carried, we soon learned this brings new problems. Once the weather finally became nice, Zoe quickly learned that if running indoors is fun, running outside is doubly fun. Teaching her not to go on the street and where to stop on the sidewalk can be a tiring process. She listens most of the time, but the times she doesn’t can pose big problems.
• The park has become a lot of fun, but not in the expected playground area. Zoe loves wandering along the jogging path, and can even do most of a mini-loop. She also loves hunting for acorns and other treasures in the dirt. We’re hoping this will translate to fun in the sand when we go on vacation in a month.
• Terrorizing the kitties has evolved into head butting the kitties and giving them body hugs. They’ve slowly started to view her affections as not harmful, though sometimes a nuisance. In some instances they even welcome the attention, recognizing they aren’t getting as much from the parents.
• While Zoe was previously unable to sit through more than about 15 minutes of TV at a time, she is now glued to the TV when we put the Backyardigans on, her favorite (and only) show. It’s actually a little scary, because she sometimes whimpers when it’s over. I can see how convenient it is to plop kids in front of the television. It provides a nice break for the parent, and fun for the child. Things were much easier when she didn’t like it, and therefore it wasn’t a temptation.
• We’ve had a few great break-though events, which made parenting seem like a breeze. One was a brunch in NYC which lasted an amazing 1 1/2 hours before I had to take her out. We’re still not sure how we pulled this off, but all the adult attention from a round table of admirers, coupled with blueberries doled out one at a time, seemed to do the trick. Last night we took her to her first movie at the drive-in theatre, and she fell asleep in Mommy’s arms about 15 minutes into the movie, giving us the ability to actually watch it! The hour of running around the play area beforehand, definitely helped tucker her out.

We are still eagerly waiting for Zoe to start talking. For awhile it seemed like their was progress and that it was just around the corner, but we’re now prepared for her to be two before words start flowing. She does babble quite extensively, as if she’s speaking her own language. English is a skill not yet attained. Fortunately she understands quite a bit, starting with a toy that says “spin me again”, and other words like kiss, gentle, careful, and come back.

As for listening to something other than disco in the car, Mom has come to the conclusion that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. After a few unhappy outings without disco music, we put the CD back in and saw ear-to-ear smiles on her face. Now we’re focused on expanding the disco choices to more than one 20-song CD, rather than introducing her to better music in the car.

After a mere 2 months, the transition from infant to toddler is basically complete and it has been a lot of fun to watch. At 14 months, Zoe loves to:

• Toddle, walk and run, especially in airports. She loves doing laps around circular houses, but the dining room table, couches and any chair will also do. This is definitely the new self entertainment.
• Play chase with Daddy, with mommy usually “rescuing” her.
• Open and close doors (especially the bathroom door) to play hide and seek.
• Giggle at Mommy when she unlocks the house door.
• Play with (terrorize) animals. While the kitties don’t stick around long enough to play, dogs are rather friendly up to a certain point.
• Flip through her board books, turning pages and lifting the flaps of the peek-a-boo books.
• Clap her hands. (Mary taught her this.) We’re still working on high five.
• Arch her back in full fledge temper mode when she doesn’t want to be picked up, or is being restrained against her will. Daddy calls it the “my will is being thwarted” tantrum.
• Feed herself raisin bran, peas, pineapple, Indian food, etc. While there are many items on the hit list, it is still a mystery to us as to which new foods she’ll like.
• Cuddle with pancake teddy. Sadly cuddle time with parents is less valuable after a long day, and pancake teddy is the preferred companion. Perhaps absence makes the heart grow fonder.

The transitions are nearly complete, as soon as we can consistently get her to hold her own milk bottle, listen to something other than disco in the car, and stay happily in the nursery at church instead of crying.

It’s hard to believe, but today was little Z’s first birthday (pics here). Actually, maybe it’s more like it’s hard for us to get our heads around. Is it a whole year already? Has the earth actually completed an entire orbit around the sun since the light of our lives came into the world? So now we move from celebrating the little monthly birthdays to just years? Yet at the same time there’s also a feeling of “has it really only been a year?” It’s gets harder and harder to remember what life was like before she came along.

And what a week it’s been leading up to her birthday. She’s getting better and better at nearly walking, and she’s completely fearless about practicing. (JJ: heh, I actually wonder sometimes if she might actually be a little dense in this regard, like I was) She’ll stand up, take a few steps, do a wild gyrating splatfall, then get up and do it again. So she occassionally takes a couple steps, takes a fall, and some hard object happens to be between her and the floor. Last week it was the corner edge of the dresser, which turned out to be quite sharp and gave her a nasty-looking (though fortunately quite superficial) cut right down the middle of her forhead. A few days later it was a spill in the bathtub leading to a bloody nose (and an embarrassingly panicked father who was ready to take off for the emergency room). And a couple days later a crash into the high-chair resulting in a remarkably elevated bump on her forhead. And this is with supervision! Poor Deb is despairing of ever getting another pristine picture of Zoe. All I can is, babies are sure a lot tougher than they look.

But what a glorious time it is. Her babbles have taken on an oddly intelligent tone. They make no sense, of course, but she has these conversations with herself that use nuance, inflection, and humor, and it seems quite clear she at least knows what she’s talking about.

And this near-walking is just incredible to watch. Or, even better, to participate in: when she wants to go for a stroll, she puts out her little hand, with the firm expectation that you will put a finger out for her to grab onto. Finger in hand, she’ll happily walk from one end of the house to the other, or until something distracts her along the way. But the feeling we get when “holding hands” like that is really just priceless.

Every day just brings a new surprise in some capability, or refinement of technique, or emotional expression. It’s like a little daily gift from her to us.

I realize that I’ve gotten to this point without having written anything about her actual birthday - the friends who came over with their little ones to share the joy, who made the most amazing (and healthy for babies) little cinnamon-pumpkin muffins (thanks Julie!). So that tells me I should just close this post, and let Deb write something.

I’d close by just saying we both just feel so incredibly lucky to have her in our lives, it’s almost scary. And we can’t wait to see what the second year brings!

I love these final days of babyhood, the precious remaining days before Zoe becomes a toddler. While I’m not really sure when toddler status begins, the general rules seem to be at 1 year old or when they can walk. On both fronts, the baby days are numbered.

Zoe is so close to walking, and while I’m very excited about this, it has caused considerable reflection on the current days, because I will miss them when they’re gone. When the weather turned colder, I bought her first pair of jeans and putting them on her was like watching her grow up before my eyes. I also started taking her to the playground so she could see what was ahead, or rather, so I could see what was ahead.

Here are just a few of my thoughts about the current days:
– I love the way little Z grips my fingers when I hold her bottle. Sadly at some point she will have to hold it on her own.

– Her baby babble has reached new levels, with lengthy conversations going on. We try to join in, but it’s not always that easy. Some day I’ll remember the good old days when she couldn’t argue with me.

– I love the way she is always reaching for something higher. She’s never content to just stand in the regular places. Her arms are always reaching up to a higher table, or something she hasn’t explored before, though this means news risks for pulling things over. I am hoping this doesn’t mean she’s a thrill seeker in the future.

– The disco CD has now become a sentimental favorite for me because of how happy it makes her. We just leave it in the car continually playing. While we try to introduce new music, nothing beats disco in the car.

– I even like the smile she gives me when I tell her NO. It’s like a game to her and my NO stops her in her tracks but then she turns and smiles at me as if to say “Silly mommy, you know I’m going to keep doing what I was doing.” I am definitely in need of a new approach.

As for progress towards walking, it started with her learning to stand up, then cruising (walking along the couch holding on), then standing without holding on to anything for up to 25 secconds. She has learned to crawl the stairs, and goes all the way up to the third floor. Some nights this is so entertaining, she does it 3-4 times. Sometimes when she turns towards me it feels like she’s about to walk, but then she crawls over. I’m happy to enjoy the final crawling days.